Why we do what we do..

  

INTRINSIC VS. EXTRINSIC GOALS (YOUR
FOCUS?)


“The researchers found that if any of the three extrinsic aspirations—for money, fame, or beauty—was very high for an individual relative to the three intrinsic aspirations, the individual was also more likely to display poorer mental health. For example, having an unusually strong aspiration for material success was associated with narcissism, anxiety, depression, and poorer social functioning as rated by a trained clinical psychologist…

In contrast, strong aspirations for any of the intrinsic goals—meaningful relationships, personal growth, and community contributions—were positively associated with well-being. People who strongly desired to contribute to their community, for example, had more vitality and higher self-esteem. When people organize their behavior in terms of intrinsic strivings (relative to extrinsic strivings) they seem more content—they feel better about who they are and display more evidence of psychological health.”
Edward L. Deci from Why We Do What We Do

CONSTANTLY LOOK FOR WAYS TO GET BETTER !

7220b0ada6c7ce905ca4d8951b87118e

CONSTANTLY (!) LOOK FOR WAYS TO GET BETTER

“In order to grow, you must constantly look for ways to get better at the things you do. It is an ongoing process that is common to elite performers. They consistently look for ways to grow in areas that will increase the chances of their being successful…

John Wooden, the famous UCLA college basketball coach who has won more games than any other basketball coach in history, said that the thing that separates the great player from the good player is that the great player works on his strengths. The elite performer focuses on strengths and then focuses on his weaknesses. He makes it a point to focus on how he can improve and grow. Elite performers don’t focus on excuses, nor do they focus on winning or losing. The elite performer focuses on progress, and he takes advantage of his opportunities.”

~ Troy Bassham from Attainment

#1 DESIRE TO STAY FOCUSED ON THE WORK

TheBook580h

#1 DESIRE TO STAY FOCUSED ON THE WORK

“When you let go of your attachment to the object you desire and make your desire the experience of staying focused on working toward your goal, you are fulfilling your desire in every minute and you are patient with the circumstance. There is no reason not to be. There is no effort or “trying to be patient” here. It is just a natural response to your perspective. This shift in perspective is very small and subtle on the one hand, but it has enormous freeing power. No task seems too large to undertake. Your confidence goes way up as does your patience with yourself. You are always achieving your goal and there are no mistakes or time limits to create stress.”

~ Thomas M. Sterner from The Practicing Mind

The Instructor’s Awareness…

  

THE INSTRUCTOR’S AWARENESS


“By now, you should realize, or shall we say be aware of, several themes running throughout this book. One of these themes is awareness itself. You cannot change what you are not aware of, and that truth is no more important than in the world of self-improvement. We need to be more aware of what we are doing, what we are thinking, and what we are intending to accomplish in order to be more in control of what we are experiencing in life. But in fact, for most of us, this is a problem because we are so disconnected from our thoughts. We just have them. The horses are running and we don’t have the reins. We need to be more of an observer of our thoughts and actions, like an instructor watching a student performing a task. The instructor is not judgmental or emotional. The instructor knows just what he or she wants the student to produce. The teacher observes the student’s actions, and when the student does something which is moving in the wrong direction, the instructor gently brings it to the student’s attention and pulls the student back on the proper path. A good instructor does not get emotional in response to the student moving off the path. That kind of negative emotion comes from expectations, and that is not the perspective we want to have if we are to be our own instructor. Expectations are tied to a result or product; once again, we are experiencing the feeling of “things should be this way right now, and until then I won’t be happy.” When you or someone else is experiencing these kinds of emotions, it is an indicator of falling out of the process, or falling out of the present moment.” 
Thomas M. Sterner from The Practicing Mind

What is Love?

296346_504226182938823_1977254566_n

WHAT IS LOVE?

“It took me three years to whittle these definitions and concepts from a decade of interviews. Let’s take a look.

Love:

We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection.

Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them—we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.

Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed, and rare.” 

~ Brené Brown from The Gifts of Imperfection

The Gifts of Imperfection

The_Gifts_of_Imperfection_Book_-_Brene_Brown_-_Front_Cover__28813_zoom

PRACTICING THE GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION

“Practicing courage, compassion, and connection in our daily lives is how we cultivate worthiness. The key word is practice. Mary Daly, a theologian, writes, “Courage is like—it’s a habitus, a virtue: You get it by courageous acts. It’s like you learn to swim by swimming. You learn courage by couraging.” The same is true for compassion and connection. We invite compassion into our lives when we act compassionately toward ourselves and others, and we feel connected in our lives when we reach out and connect.” 

~ Brené Brown from The Gifts of Imperfection

The Quiet Little Demon

  

THE QUIET LITTLE DEMON


“Before Thomas Edison’s lightbulb, our great-grandparents would get as much as 10 hours’ rest during an average weeknight. Today, we’re lucky to get eight hours on the weekend. The amount of actual weeknight slumber has shrunk, on average, to an alarming 6.7 hours. We are a nation of the walking tired, so much so that 51 percent of the workforce reports that sleepiness on the job interferes with the volume of work they can do. One in five adults is so sleepy that it interferes with his or her daily activities a few days a week, while an additional 20 percent report impairment a few days a month.

Once the nation with the most productive workforce in the world, the United States, by a number of measures, has fallen behind countries such as France and Germany. Our standard of living is slipping. Our students are underperforming. Our collective health is deteriorating. In areas such as science and technology, we no longer dominate. Politicians, pundits and experts from all fields have made an industry out of explaining what’s going wrong. But continually overlooked is the role of that quiet little demon: fatigue.” 

Sara C. Mednick from Take a Nap, Change Your Life!


Right, I’m off for a nap, love always.

Deepak